When thngs happen that you can't control

When people in your life take steps to mess with your life in ways that you can't do anything about what do you do? do you mess with them right back or do you just let it  be? When the people that you thought that would always be there for you stab you in the back, do you stab them back? When someone lets your secrets out for the world to see, do you let theirs out too? What justifies what is right and what is wrong when you are so hurt you can't even see straight? Is it the feelings that you have in the moment towards that person? When someone messes with you in such a way that is so unjustified and so wrong, something that could really affect your whole future and who you are as a person, what do you do?
I believe that when you get mad at someone, that is okay. They hurt you or did something that you don't agree with. It is perfectly okay to be mad and to let them know. But it is never okay to go messing with their lives in a way that could really do some damage. To purposely rip apart a marriage or to try and take someones kids from them, to make someone loose everything they have. That is never justified, be mad, yell, scream, never talk to them again, all of those are okay but never mess with someones life and family. It's all they have and when they have nothing they have nothing left to loose.

Beyond Scared Safe: Life After Fire Part 2

After the fire our lives changed dramatically. Things that we never even gave a second thought to suddenly became the most important things ever. Candles only get burned in open areas, sitting in a plate of water. Smoke detectors in every room, tested monthly. I don't want to live in a house without central heat because space heaters scare me. Gas stoves make me nervous, and when we barbeque the hose is out and the fire is COMPLETELY extinguished before we go in. I am talking you could stick your hand in the middle of it and not feel any warmth, no hot not even warm coals left, before we walk away. Even though the fire that took my dream house from me was deemed due to faulty electrical wiring, anything that has the slightest potential to start a fire scares me. Cigarettes get put out in water, and lighters are kept up high away from the reach of any little hands. I wont allow a match in the house and the gas can is kept outside away from the house. It is amazing how something like that changes everything you do in life so quickly without you even having to put any thought into it. How things you never cared about before are the most important thing. When we were looking for a new house to rent after the fire, all I could ask about was gas or electric? Is everything up to code? Was there ever a fire here before? I have relaxed some since then, house hunting is easier and not as scary but I will never be the same as I was before, none of us will be.

Beyond Scared Safe: Life After Fire Part 1

"Do you smell that?"
"Yeah, I do. What is it?"
"I don't know, probably something outside. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy."
I went back to sewing doggy sweaters and my husband went back to playing video games.
"Do you think we should put the little monster to bed?"
"No, he isn't acting all that tired yet, lets wait a little closer to nine baby."
"There's that smell again. Is there a window open?"
"No the heat is on."
It was just a normal night at our house. We were all enjoying the time in each others company, winding down after a long day. Then our whole world went up in flames, literally. The flames broke through the ceiling next to the chimney, right above the playpen that our son was playing in.
"Get Aidan and get next door now!"
It was February first, not even nine pm. The temperature outside was maybe 20 degrees, there was a good two inches on snow on the ground, and here I am running across a field, a 14 month old in my arms, no shoes on my feet, no sweater or jacket, no blanket to wrap the baby in, just a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. My husband back at the house doing everything he can to keep the fire under control until the fire department got there. 20 minutes after the 911 call was made the first of six fire trucks finally arrived. Our lives would never be the same again.

Instant Gratification- Is it worth it?

When someone hurts you, we all want to hurt them back. We want to make them feel how we felt at that moment in time when they hurt us. We want to send a message saying if you hurt me I will hurt you back just as much. But is it really worth it? Sometimes instant gratification is something small, you punch me, I am going to punch you back. Other times it's bigger, you mess with my life I am going to mess with yours. In the moment it is not about being the bigger person , it is about making yourself feel better and them feel worse. When these times come, when it really hurts and all you want to do is hurt them too, sometimes the best thing you can do is take a second and take a step back to look at what you want to do. Ask yourself these questions; Am i only hurting the person that I want to? Is what I want to do legal? Will I really have long term satisfaction or will I feel bad about it later? Often you will find the answer to one or more of these questions will not be good for you. Sometimes the best action, and the best revenge is to sit and continue to live your life, Leave them wondering what is going to happen, and do nothing.

Family and what it should be

What is family? Is it a mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, or any combination of those? Or is there a way that you can choose your family? I believe that family should be something true and connected. To be true you have got to be there for them no matter what. No matter what they believe or their personal life choices. Family is an important part of life. When you start out life, family is those that are there for you taking care of you and guiding you as you grow. Later in life you get some choice, who your husband/wife is, and from that comes an extended family. But what happens when your family does you wrong and stabs you in the back? Do you get a choice then? I believe that family goes deeper than blood, deeper than who raised you and took care of you. Deeper than who guided you through your adolescent years. As I said family is about being there and being true. Family shouldn't abandon you in a time of need. No, I take that back, family wont abandon you in your time of need. True family isn't all blood ties, for some people that does play a strong role, but it's not all that it is about. Family is something more. Most of us have friends who we call brothers and sisters, and those people have done something for us in a time of need that proved their loyalty and their right to have that title. When blood isn't enough there are always other forms of family. This is where you get to choose. You will have friends that become aunts and uncles to your children, paternal figures that aren't necessarily related but will become grandma/grandpa to your children in some form, people in your life that you wish you were related to by blood but your not. As children when we find these people we often prick our fingers and become blood brothers/sisters that way, but later in life you realize you don't need that. All you need is to know that they are there and always will be no matter what choice you make, even if they don't quite agree, or where you go, even thousands of miles away. That is what real family is, not fake, not backstabbing, Always with your best interest in mind. That is real family.

Live by these

• Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now laugh through the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason. -unknown
• There are things we don't want to happen, but have to accept; things we don't want to know, but have to learn; and people we can't live without, but have to let go. -unknown.
• What's the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable. -unknown
• The key to happiness is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be. - unknown
• Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars. - Bryan Littrell
• People are often unreasonable and self centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway. What you spent years building, someone can destroy overnight. Build anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world your best, and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see in the end it's between you and god. It was never between you and them anyway. - MotherTheresa    
• Be who you are and say what you think, because those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss
• A girl should be two things; classy and fabulous. -Coco Channel
• A successful woman is one who can build a firm foundation out of the bricks others have thrown at her. -unknown
• Once you stop learning you start dying. -Albert Einstein.
• You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have left. -Bob Marley
• There will be times you feel like you have failed, but in the eyes, heart, and mind of your child, you are super mom. -unknown

So these are some of the most important pieces of advice I can give you that I have found to help be through tough times. I have found that taking a little bit from all of them and mixing them together into one big pot works well and should get you through. It won't be easy, life never is. But no matter what's going on it will be ok. Give it some time and give yourself some time. It may be cloudy now but it won't rain forever.

Staying in the hospital.

So, a little excitement happened in my life overnight. I spent the night in the hospital. I have got to admit that the staff is super nice and really caring. I loved my nurses and at this particular hospital you get a patient care assistant that is assigned to a nurse and is there to help the patient and their family with anything they need. My care assistant spent most of the time not actually catering to me but to my husband. Coffee, pillows, food, blankets, anything he needed she was right there with a smile on her face and a caring word to get it for him.
Hopefully I get to go home today but if not atleast I know I am cared for and that I'm not just some patient with a symptom. I have a name and feelings, my comfort matters to the people who are charged with looking after me. I could not ask for a better care staff.
It is still a hospital though, tests take forever to be read, doctors are busy with a lot of patients, and sometimes everything doesn't go as planned. My IV is in a wierd spot and the tape kind of itches, my feet can't seem to stay warm. Though the food is really really good.
I am getting to go home so I'll wrap this up. Just waiting for them to come take put my IV out and give me my discharge papers.

STRESS!!

Stress: (noun) A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances...

Yep. That's me. Normally I try to live a simple and minimally stressful life... Somehow that backfired. Stress can be a very stressful thing. This particular post is just to let you know that I may be a little spotty with my school work and there will be days when I spend all day on school, and there will be days that school work will be the last thing on my mind.

I have been trying to work on all my assignments and get everything done. I have four classes this semester; English, French, History, and Biology. All classes that I like and find interesting and fun... but for some reason I can't bring myself to focus on anything lately. Sometimes life can get to you that way. It is hard to work though when you feel like everything is trivial compared to what is going on in the moment. You have to force yourself to take a step back and figure out what is actually important.

School is important. Family is important. Right now they are both number 1. I need to get through school so I can help support my family and make a better life for them.

This I believe first draft.

   I believe a woman should be capable  of doing anything a man can do. I once read where someone had said: "a woman can do anything a man can do. She just has to do it twice as well to be considered half as good." This quote actually inspired me to start my college career.

   I did not start our going after a degree in teaching. I actually started out in diesel tech. When I was growing up my dad was a mechanic and my mom could do anything he could. I was four when my dad and I built my first car. There is no conning this woman in to believing that the blinker fluid needs to be changed.

   Just ask my husband, I can do anything he can do, and give birth. I believe that women are able to do it all, just because they may not want to, doesn't mean they can't. Being independent is a good thing. Yes, I do believe that men should take car of women, but what happens when a woman doesn't have a man?

   A man living alone is expected to fix the plumbing,change the oil, and fix a flat. Women should be able to do these things too. Not only does it make a woman more independent and self sufficient, but when she starts a family with a man she has a lot more to bring to the table. I can recall many days when my husband would leave for work and tell me that when he got off work he was going to fix something. I would say about 50% of the time, I would have it done for him when he got home.

   Being a woman who is well rounded in her skills is important to me. I believe that every woman should be able to do at least the basics. It will serve you well not to be all stuffed animals and glitter, but actually get a little dirty every once in a while and get things done.


*now this is just a (very) rough draft. I WILL turn this into a wonderful essay in the next week or so.

Parle vous Francais?

I took french in high school and I took it again this semester in college, I thought okay I already know this stuff and it fills a requirement for my degree, plus the extra credit hours will be nice. I told my husband it would be an easy A because I was fluent in french two years ago. It's not. out of all the classes I am taking this semester I feel french is probably one of the hardest. I thought it would all come back quick and I wouldn't actually be learning much new stuff. I was very wrong. So I sat dawn and actually thought back to all the "stupid" assignments and activities we had to do and realized though they may have been stupid at the time that they would help me remember in long run. I started copying things from the book and making my notes more organized. I ripped out all the pages I had and started fresh. took every thing and reorganized it. All the numbers are written in one spot and not scattered from page to page. Verbs and adjectives all written out in their different forms all together. Greetings and goodbyes. Now when I look at my notes I can tell what I am looking at and it's not all a jumbled mess. There is space in each section if I need it to add to later in the course and I even noticed my assignments are easier. Instead of thinking "ok what does that mean" it is "ok I remember writing that somewhere. Is that a number or a verb?" Sometimes all you need to be successful is a little reorganization and some colored pens. . . Now if only that worked for anything but school work.

Not sure what to call this one

This week we are supposed to be writing to improve fluency. I haven't really found any interesting topics to write about. I have been thinking about prompts I used to write to and every time I sit down to write I just can't seem to put words on paper. Even now I am having trouble with it. Nothing seems to flow. So I guess in this post I am writing about not being able to write. I know that writers block is a real thing, but I haven't had a big problem with it before. I'm not sure how to get past it, I thought maybe if I wrote about it now it might help and I could at least put some ideas on here. That does not seem to be the case though. So for now I guess this is it and there isn't much here I know. Google here i come for some ideas!

Knowing Your Audience

       My audience this semester is a  currious one. From the questions that were posted to the board I can gather that many are enthusiastic about learning. Some questions were simple "Where are you from?" others really made you think "If you had a one way ticket anywhere, where would you go and who would you take?" There were questions like "Where are you going when you die?" and "Is it second nature to judge someone?" I believe that this audience is engaged in their learning. Most contributed questions that were intelligent and inquisitive. Something that took more than just a word or two to answer. When I was going through answering questions there were many that made me stop and think. I had even had to put off answering a few of them for a few days while I thought about how to answer them. When I was able to answer them i still felt like there was a lot more I could have written than just what I did. Even some of the simpler ones "Who is your favorite musical artist?" are deeper than they appear to be. Most of the answers to this particular question were along the lines of "It changes day to day or week to week." When you think about this question you also have to think what is going on in my life right now and what does this artist say about certain things. How does the music make me feel in the moment and does it relate to something in the here and now? I believe I will have a lot of fun writing to this audience this semester.

Never take anything for granted

I believe that you should never take anything for granted. To take something for granted is to misuse it. To misuse is to disrespect and that is the worst thing you can do. I have taken things for granted before and learned my lesson the very hard way. When you take something for granted you run a chance of loosing it forever and if it something that you deeply care about, that is the worst feeling in the world. When you think you have lost something you love because to took it for granted it not only metaphorically hurts but it hurts physically too. You don't want to do anything but fix what you did and if you feel that you can't then all you want to do is cry. Taking something for granted is to assume that it will always be there and nothing is forever and nothing is for certain. You have to fight everyday for what you want and show everyday that you will do anything to keep what you have, no matter what it takes and what you have to do. Love what you have deeply and without question, fight to keep it, respect and cherish everyday. Show the world that you are here and this is who you are, this is what you have and nothing can take that from you. When you live every day like everything will be gone tomorrow then you aren't taking it for granted, you are showing that you have it and it is yours but you realize that tomorrow it may be gone and you don't want that to happen.

word-count: 271

This I Believe...

This I Believe...

I believe I am a good mother. 

I believe in individuality

I believe in doing your best in all things

I believe people are naturally good

I believe in doing those you love right

I believe in being faithful

I believe there is something more out there

I believe learning something new is the most rewarding feeling

I believe a woman should be able to do anything a man can

I believe children are our future

I believe everyone deserves a second chance

I believe sometimes its best to leave it alone

I believe in counting your blessings

I believe you shouldn't take anything for granted

I believe in family 

I believe nothing is for certian

I believe in love

Okay, so for ten minutes its not a lot but screaming children tend to slow you down when you least want them to.

INFP

INFP

Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving

 When I read the personality description there were parts that I said, "Yes that's me" and points where I was thinking, " do I really do that?" when I looked back, I saw yes that is. But what that has to do with writing is a bit questionable. I do usually try to see the good in everyone but that doesn't mean that I always write from a positive perspective. I love to write in general, I don't like gathering all the material, but I enjoy writing a good research paper, or I'll sit and write a short story over just about anything. I don't have much of a problem putting words on a page and making them sound good. So I'm not sure how much help this test will be with my writing. I have always written easily and decently.
 I did agree that I can be very emotional in my communication, but also very reserved with somethings at the same time. I guess that does come through in my writing, you can always tell if what I am writing I am passionate about, I'll use longer words, the paper itself will be longer and flow better. (Obviously not feeling this one very much.) there will be more evidence supporting what I am saying, more description in my writing, and I will spend much more time making sure it is perfect.
 As far as helping me write in college I now realize that I may have more trouble with an assignment if I have to write about something I don't feel strongly about or something I don't find interesting. I may have to be more careful with those assignments, do a little bit more revising and maybe let someone else read it before I turn it in to make sure it sounds at least decent. Thankfully there isn't much out there that I don't feel something on or don't find something about it interesting.